i am done with the spring semester. WHEW. although i officially lost my 4.0. which i kinda hate. my smartness, my intelligence, is the only thing i have. and now it is gone. i don't have anything left that makes me special or anything. that was my defining thing. and it's gone. gone. gone. the experiemental psych class, i was a bit of a slacker at the last moment. i thought i could skate through it and busted my ass on the last exam. crack... and i got a B. then this stupid ass humanities class, i actually tried and still got a B. i want to strangle the professor. i honestly feel i deserved an A-. not a full A, but A-. i did deserve that. i tried harder than anyone else, i participated the most in class, and my mid term had a B grade, and my final was written even better than that... so wtf.
it's hard to me to accept this. having my As... that was my thing. and it is now gone. and i feel like crap. the thing is... my brain says i should feel like crap... but i feel nothing. i got an A in the hard ass biopsych class, and i feel nothing. i am one giant numb-ball. what the hell?? so weird. i'm not too sure what to think about that. i kinda don't care. i try to convince myself to become upset... but i get nothing. soooo... oh well. not going to worry about it.
i'm tired. i don't feel like writing much down right now. i have been in a weird place lately, and have been kinda pulling back from everything. i ride the horses as much as i can, and i swear i spend more time with my four legged friends than anyone else. i just don't like people. they suck. and i don't even feel like trying to finish that thought right now. i will later tho...
and thank you, to the reader who left that last comment about trolls and reading my blog :) it really made me smile. a real smile. i appreciate that so much :)
it's hard to me to accept this. having my As... that was my thing. and it is now gone. and i feel like crap. the thing is... my brain says i should feel like crap... but i feel nothing. i got an A in the hard ass biopsych class, and i feel nothing. i am one giant numb-ball. what the hell?? so weird. i'm not too sure what to think about that. i kinda don't care. i try to convince myself to become upset... but i get nothing. soooo... oh well. not going to worry about it.
i'm tired. i don't feel like writing much down right now. i have been in a weird place lately, and have been kinda pulling back from everything. i ride the horses as much as i can, and i swear i spend more time with my four legged friends than anyone else. i just don't like people. they suck. and i don't even feel like trying to finish that thought right now. i will later tho...
and thank you, to the reader who left that last comment about trolls and reading my blog :) it really made me smile. a real smile. i appreciate that so much :)
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