crap. today i have been struggling with the fact i do not have ANY concentraiton. it's making the school thing really really really difficult today. i read stuff, and i can sense it, i am aware of sensing it, but somewhere along the route to my brain... the info fades and it doesn't make any sense to me. i can read the wrods, and i understand the words, but once i have a sentence completed there is nothing in my brain. i don't know what i just read. and i am trying, willing myself to focus, but it's not really doing much good. i'm getting kinda cranky over here with this.
there is a huge disconnect in my brain.
i had gone off my meds when i was having the stomach problems. and now i am titrating back on to the Lamictal and Prozac (and trying like hell to not go back to lithium) and i believe the Lamictal is what is making me dumber. i really do think this. i remember feeling "dumb" like this when i had my Lamictal dose over 200mg. it was at 300mg for a minute, but i was really "dumb" then, so i lowered it. i have two weeks left in the semester, and i can either go back off meds and deal with being a crazy person, or stay on them and deal with being a dumb person. eeek. i don't like these choices!! regardless, i will most liekly stay on them. although they haven't started to do me any good yet. the stress from this semester and grad school plans and stuff is adding a lot to my plate.
dammit.
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I have been on lamictal for 14 months and I am now totally dumb. I can't remember what I was doing when I walk into a room to do something. Forget about rememebering people's names. I'm not bipolar, but was put on lamictal for mood stabilization. It seems to have lost its effectiveness. So, dumb and angry. Fun fun.
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