I believe I mentioned before, however briefly, that I had endured a 45 minute coffee date two weeks ago. He seemed to be a nice young man, a bit deviant from my usual "type" but he prided himself on being mature, etc etc etc. so gave him a chance.
After coffee I was left feeling luke warm about the whole thing. Not turned off, but not breathlessly waiting for the next time I could see him. My grafuate school apps held more appeal for me. He was interested in doing something that following Saturday (we had met up the Thursday night before Halloween) and I said "maybe" because it was crunch time for my essays and statements and million different things to do for my applications. The next day while at work he sent me two messages (one email, one text) inquiring about my availability for the weekend. I replied once I got home and let him know that it isn't likely I will be available. I had let him know before we met and once during coffee that school is my priority right now while I am trying to wiggle my way into a top notch graduate program, and I reminded him of this fact Friday evening.
Saturday... text message at 10 am asking if I am free later in the day. I say "no". 2 pm... another text message with the same inquiry. I reply in a rather blunt way that it is in no way shape or form going to happen as I plan to be glued to my laptop all freakin' evening, and happiliy too. He responds with a " :( " which confused me because I certainly wasn't sad about it and I hardly know the kid.
At any rate... 11pm rolls around and I get a message, "you really should come out, all work and no play makes for a boring Ann".
I was a little irritated at this point. The things I had said, my opinions and wishes, were clearly not being heard and he thinks he knows what I should be doing instead. It's not like I was stuck at work or staying home because I was depressed. For heaven's sake I was trying to work on my immediate future, and enjoying it. Don't tell me my work, the things I pursue in my free time, makes me "boring"!!. What the heck is that???
I replied with kindness and zero sarcasm and broke it down Barney style for him how I felt (annoyed, no longer interested, and I hate being pressued and bugged to do something that I have made quite clear I have no interest in doing), and the types of reactions his behavior was illicitng fro myself. I was kind, and supportive in my explanation of how I felt and that I was no longer interested. I even gave my point of view of how he could handle a situation like that in the future (he had never had much of a prior serious relationship to speak of so I sympathized a little with the underdeveloped social skills and wanted to help if anything).
Then came his response, which I am pasting below. The words in yellow are my personal commentary on his writtings that I had forwarded to my sister.
"Very well then. As we were sharing parting advice, here is mine.
Your extreme misinterpretation of my actions coupled with your extreme response to them leads me to conclude that one of your ex's in the past was extremely [extremely? I think someone needs a thesaurus over here...] controlling and made you give up your life for him [yes, I died for my husband. the bastard pushed me right off the plank to save his own life]. Wasn't my intention here and is something I would never do, [you are a noble man] but if you have developed this much of a fear that every man you meet will try to control your life then you are in trouble [ruh-roh!]. You are awesome in a ridiculous number of ways [like Zoolander?] , if a man is interested in you then he is going to want to spend time with you [his logic is irrefutable], and he may at times become annoying [oh...is that how it works??]. He is not trying to control your life when he tries to include you in his life, and if you bite his head off for doing so it will rapidly make him not want to include you in his life [again, the logic here is irrefutable; someone call the CIA, we have a prodigy over here..].
I'm sure that my being frustratingly immature in our correspondence contributed as well to your decision [nawwww... not at all. I totally dig the immaturity]. As I've already said your [way to use the right word, jackass] awesome and I'm sure that you'll have no problem finding another suitor [yes, because I am living in the 1800s and desperately waiting for a man to come along and wooo me so that my life may be complete]. Just don't bite his head off [dude, I can't help it, I'm like a black widow] the first time he does something wrong. Whoever hurt you in the past, we are not all that guy [that's strange... because I totally thought you were David and Jeremiah all mushed into one.. my mistake]."
Are you freaking kidding me??
I need some help, when exactly did the men all turn into a bunch of girls?? Not to mention his perspective is WAY off on this one. I'm left scratching my head.... and honestly without the desire to mess with trying to find some man that is intelligent, non-moronic, non-asshole, and not a Stage 5 Clinger.
If you see such a mythical creature, please do let me know...
After coffee I was left feeling luke warm about the whole thing. Not turned off, but not breathlessly waiting for the next time I could see him. My grafuate school apps held more appeal for me. He was interested in doing something that following Saturday (we had met up the Thursday night before Halloween) and I said "maybe" because it was crunch time for my essays and statements and million different things to do for my applications. The next day while at work he sent me two messages (one email, one text) inquiring about my availability for the weekend. I replied once I got home and let him know that it isn't likely I will be available. I had let him know before we met and once during coffee that school is my priority right now while I am trying to wiggle my way into a top notch graduate program, and I reminded him of this fact Friday evening.
Saturday... text message at 10 am asking if I am free later in the day. I say "no". 2 pm... another text message with the same inquiry. I reply in a rather blunt way that it is in no way shape or form going to happen as I plan to be glued to my laptop all freakin' evening, and happiliy too. He responds with a " :( " which confused me because I certainly wasn't sad about it and I hardly know the kid.
At any rate... 11pm rolls around and I get a message, "you really should come out, all work and no play makes for a boring Ann".
I was a little irritated at this point. The things I had said, my opinions and wishes, were clearly not being heard and he thinks he knows what I should be doing instead. It's not like I was stuck at work or staying home because I was depressed. For heaven's sake I was trying to work on my immediate future, and enjoying it. Don't tell me my work, the things I pursue in my free time, makes me "boring"!!. What the heck is that???
I replied with kindness and zero sarcasm and broke it down Barney style for him how I felt (annoyed, no longer interested, and I hate being pressued and bugged to do something that I have made quite clear I have no interest in doing), and the types of reactions his behavior was illicitng fro myself. I was kind, and supportive in my explanation of how I felt and that I was no longer interested. I even gave my point of view of how he could handle a situation like that in the future (he had never had much of a prior serious relationship to speak of so I sympathized a little with the underdeveloped social skills and wanted to help if anything).
Then came his response, which I am pasting below. The words in yellow are my personal commentary on his writtings that I had forwarded to my sister.
"Very well then. As we were sharing parting advice, here is mine.
Your extreme misinterpretation of my actions coupled with your extreme response to them leads me to conclude that one of your ex's in the past was extremely [extremely? I think someone needs a thesaurus over here...] controlling and made you give up your life for him [yes, I died for my husband. the bastard pushed me right off the plank to save his own life]. Wasn't my intention here and is something I would never do, [you are a noble man] but if you have developed this much of a fear that every man you meet will try to control your life then you are in trouble [ruh-roh!]. You are awesome in a ridiculous number of ways [like Zoolander?] , if a man is interested in you then he is going to want to spend time with you [his logic is irrefutable], and he may at times become annoying [oh...is that how it works??]. He is not trying to control your life when he tries to include you in his life, and if you bite his head off for doing so it will rapidly make him not want to include you in his life [again, the logic here is irrefutable; someone call the CIA, we have a prodigy over here..].
I'm sure that my being frustratingly immature in our correspondence contributed as well to your decision [nawwww... not at all. I totally dig the immaturity]. As I've already said your [way to use the right word, jackass] awesome and I'm sure that you'll have no problem finding another suitor [yes, because I am living in the 1800s and desperately waiting for a man to come along and wooo me so that my life may be complete]. Just don't bite his head off [dude, I can't help it, I'm like a black widow] the first time he does something wrong. Whoever hurt you in the past, we are not all that guy [that's strange... because I totally thought you were David and Jeremiah all mushed into one.. my mistake]."
Are you freaking kidding me??
I need some help, when exactly did the men all turn into a bunch of girls?? Not to mention his perspective is WAY off on this one. I'm left scratching my head.... and honestly without the desire to mess with trying to find some man that is intelligent, non-moronic, non-asshole, and not a Stage 5 Clinger.
If you see such a mythical creature, please do let me know...
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment