I have wasted my entire day not doing a bit of homework. I start to try, and then I stop and say I'll do it again in a few minutes and at the end of the day... hell I don't have any idea what on earth I did with my time. I'm completely frustrated with myself. Yet as I am sitting here cursing myself inside of my head, I am still NOT studying. I don't understand me sometimes. I seriously don't. It's like my body is depressed and doesn't have interest or whatever in jack-crap, but my mind still is being responsible.
Wait, no, it feels like that emotional part of myself is depressed, while the rational part of myself is normal and wanting to take care of responsibilities.
It's very frustrating. And the conflict within myself is not helping my mood all that much. While I would not call myself depressed, I am certainly not happy. I'm not too sure what's up. It would be easier to gauge if I would feel the same way for more than an hour or so. I get really sad, then I get hopeful and motivated, then I want to cry and feel lonely, then I'm having a fun time and glad I have my dogs over people... etc.
Well I'm tired now, and done typing this post. I have already lost interested in it.
Wait, no, it feels like that emotional part of myself is depressed, while the rational part of myself is normal and wanting to take care of responsibilities.
It's very frustrating. And the conflict within myself is not helping my mood all that much. While I would not call myself depressed, I am certainly not happy. I'm not too sure what's up. It would be easier to gauge if I would feel the same way for more than an hour or so. I get really sad, then I get hopeful and motivated, then I want to cry and feel lonely, then I'm having a fun time and glad I have my dogs over people... etc.
Well I'm tired now, and done typing this post. I have already lost interested in it.
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When I was seeing a psychiatrist, he said there are 3 parts to our personalities. One part is the child. It's the one who doesn't want to do this, it wants to do this. The second is the parent. It's the part that keeps telling you what you *should* be doing. It keeps harping about responsibilities and how you *should* do things, etc. The third part is reason. It's the part that tries to soothe both the child and the parent and reminds you that you have reasons that you aren't getting things done and that you will get them done when the time is right :) It helped me a lot when I learned to discern which was which and who I should be listening to at any given time.
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