And then

I was about to cry, and now I'm sitting in some steps by the psych building and smoking. Before the prev post I was cursing loudly when I dropped stuff, repeatedly slamming bathroom doors, and generally slamming shit in my desk, muttering curse words and I swear to fucking hell I'm going to fucking explode.

I'm trying to stay on campus. I really am. I really am. But I don't know where to go or what to do and I don't want to be around anyfuckingone. I don't want to work tomorrow and I don't want to see a fucking face.

The awesome thing is I tried to send a poet this morning and it didn't go through but it said shit to the effect that I was feeling all pumped and motivated and ready to rock school today and kick ass getting shit done. Now here I am right where I fucking was last night.

I can't identify when the shift took place. Sometime between 11am and 1pm as I was in the library doing school shit on my laptop. All was well until the Internet started to run slow and fuck up. Then I couldn't synch documents to my phone.i could think of and retain any idea or concept I needed to so I could write an email to a prof at TAMU. Then shit wouldn't upload to an email on my laptop, and the people across the way were fucking idiots and I heard them, and sometime between all of that and my walking downstairs to the bathroom my mind got all fucked and twisted into this stupid ass mess and hellllloooo flipping out. I don't know what the fuck I am going to do now. We have a review for the pharm exam at 4:00 and the exam is next Tues but I hate that class, the professor, the gay ass text for the class (which is a pathetic attempt to describe phamacology; it's so bad and juvinile that I learn better if I read a more advanced text bc that text dumbs things down and takes the slow boat to explaining anything that I end up not knowing what the fuck I was supposed to fucking learn), and I hate being in that room.

Fuck it all. I'm going home.


- Posted using BlogPress from Anna's iPhone