I haven't written because I have felt like ass (psychologically speaking).
Beyond the usual people-being-morons, I have this whole semi-depressed self-hate angry-aggression thing going on. It really sucks butt to feel this way. I hate my body so much. And what I thoroughly don't understand is how I can have so much hatred for it, yet be the "hottest" girl in the retail store in which I work.
What? Surprised I work "retail"?? Well don't be, because technically I don't ;o)
It's a funny situation where I know more about running the store, especially from the admin/operations point of view (I don't give a shit about the actual "selling" of anything), than anyone else there. Sometimes more than other people combined. I was in management way back when, before I went back to school. At any rate, the fact I'm not a retard and smarter than the folks there, I have more lee-way. I have a desk in the back, tucked away, customers rarely see me, employees usually don't come by to visit (unless they know I am there and have a reason (either they need something or they are the friendly sort that wants to chat). I decide what schedule I work (although I do have to post it in advance), and I decide what tasks I do and when I do them (there is a general idea set out for me, keep admin-ish stuffs kosher and audit-passable). It's a lovely set-up, and I am very thankful. With my loopy-ass brain, anything else would be pretty rough on me. I never forget how appreciative I am! Even when employees are incredibly moronic... and I have to clean up after them, at the end of the day, I'm a lucky bitch.
Back to where I was going. I am disgusting. And yet I have been selected as the "secret weapon" to go around and try to get people to buy those green shamrock hearts for whatever good cause they are for. Apparently my buddy (one of the managers) thinks the contracting and businessmen types will dig me, I'll sell a lot, and then we can reach our goal (he isn't doing this in a creepy or demeaning way, because if it was, I would bitch slap his ass). I thought it was pretty funny. I didn't bother mentioning to him that I am hideous and he is a retard for thinking otherwise, so I just rolled with it. It's good for me to get out in "public" since usually I'm in class, at my hidden desk at work, or at home. Bah. It's whatever.
I'm mildly amused by the whole thing :-)
And I still feel like poop.
Beyond the usual people-being-morons, I have this whole semi-depressed self-hate angry-aggression thing going on. It really sucks butt to feel this way. I hate my body so much. And what I thoroughly don't understand is how I can have so much hatred for it, yet be the "hottest" girl in the retail store in which I work.
What? Surprised I work "retail"?? Well don't be, because technically I don't ;o)
It's a funny situation where I know more about running the store, especially from the admin/operations point of view (I don't give a shit about the actual "selling" of anything), than anyone else there. Sometimes more than other people combined. I was in management way back when, before I went back to school. At any rate, the fact I'm not a retard and smarter than the folks there, I have more lee-way. I have a desk in the back, tucked away, customers rarely see me, employees usually don't come by to visit (unless they know I am there and have a reason (either they need something or they are the friendly sort that wants to chat). I decide what schedule I work (although I do have to post it in advance), and I decide what tasks I do and when I do them (there is a general idea set out for me, keep admin-ish stuffs kosher and audit-passable). It's a lovely set-up, and I am very thankful. With my loopy-ass brain, anything else would be pretty rough on me. I never forget how appreciative I am! Even when employees are incredibly moronic... and I have to clean up after them, at the end of the day, I'm a lucky bitch.
Back to where I was going. I am disgusting. And yet I have been selected as the "secret weapon" to go around and try to get people to buy those green shamrock hearts for whatever good cause they are for. Apparently my buddy (one of the managers) thinks the contracting and businessmen types will dig me, I'll sell a lot, and then we can reach our goal (he isn't doing this in a creepy or demeaning way, because if it was, I would bitch slap his ass). I thought it was pretty funny. I didn't bother mentioning to him that I am hideous and he is a retard for thinking otherwise, so I just rolled with it. It's good for me to get out in "public" since usually I'm in class, at my hidden desk at work, or at home. Bah. It's whatever.
I'm mildly amused by the whole thing :-)
And I still feel like poop.
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