Flipped it!

So, I am a girl, and like any girl, I sometimes stalk J's FB page. The idiot has it open so non-friends can see everything... and so I peek from time to time. 

I looked at it again about a week ago. I laughed while reading what he's written and what his female has written. I found it amusing, smirked my mean/evil smirk, and *poof* just like that a switch was flipped. I snapped out of whatever funk I was in over him and everything became very clear.

The flaws and faults in his personality, ways of thinking, coping, operating, etc., crystalized in my mind. I've been aware of them for a minute but didn't give those thoughts strong validity until now. "

As a bonus (maybe I'm just a bitch), the fact she is clearly insecure, well, I find it to be hilarious. She's the typical retarded facebook girl. I can now laugh at her and him (just as I do with the other idiots) without that old jealous feeling. My mother said that if she didn't know any better, she would have thought she was reading comments from a high school relationship. 

Her comments and such are excessive and overly mushy-gushy-look-at-me-and-my-great-relationship type of crap chicks try to flaunt on FB. It comes across as clingy and weak to me. Seriously. Why does she feel the need to prove something to people on a social networking site? Hell now, if that's the kind of thing he's attracted to, then clearly he isn't the kind of dude I thought he was. His attraction to this stupid shit has somehow made him unattractive to me (if that makes any sense at all). 

I dig this.

Suspecting this may be a temporary phase, I've tried to make myself miss him again and be sad. But no matter which way I spin it around in my head, I really don't give a shit. At all. I just don't care. No angry feelings, month sad, no happy, nothing. Super freaking rad. I can go about my day, and when there are things that bring him to mind (just as there are with other people I have known) and I can think of them without feeling like I've been punched in the gut. It's completely "whatever".

The same "switch" thing recently happened with D (ex-hub). Looking at his page I'd feel a little bit jealous that he's remarried and shit (jealous that I wasn't remarried too, and jealous that he had moved on from me; I'm an ass and would have preferred he be in some type of emotional pain until he was 70 years old). So, a couple weeks ago I saw a pic he put up where he ran over a skateboard in the street with his patrol car and snapped the photo from his cell phone. The caption said something to the effect of, "that's what you get for leaving your board in the street". He broke someone's toy and took a picture to share what an in-control-badass he is. It was mean. Mean spirited. Just plain mean. He is so completely unattractive for behaving like that. Any residual anything for him evaporated right then and there (including the slight jealousy and wishing he was still sad and regretful for losing me). When I think back about things in the past with him, any kind of memory, there is zero emotion attached. 

I feel pretty damn free from the idiots in my past. A weight has been lifted and it is a rockin' good feeling.

:o)