I'm still alive, just not typing that much on here. I'm stupid busy with school and that pesky full-time job.
Cliff Notes? Hm.
1. The females at work are wearing me out. It's ridiculous. Two are my boss, one is the part time associate that works the two days I work, and the other three are in a different position but that work in close proximity to what I do. They are clique-ish are drama-bound. It's disgusting. And on days when I am feeling a little off my rocker, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Which is annoying. And causes problems (sorta, they may be mostly in my paranoid head, who the hell really knows) when I'm more stable than anything. I keep vowing to keep my mouth shut at work ALWAYS... but it doesn't always work out that way. I'm a stubborn jackass who doesn't like to take shit from bitches, yet I also want to please and gain the approval of the two "bosses" because I'm a pathetic "pleaser" in that I want to be an excelling associate/employee/competent worker. Naturally I have quite a conflict going on between wanting to let the jackass smart-ass out and mock the idiots versus wanting to excel and please them. Often I find myself doing both. But the backstabbing and game playing and all of that shit is wearing on me emotionally.
2. School is overwhelming. Grad classes, a pharm class, my honors seminar and the honors research thesis. Then studying for the GRE and applying to real grad school this fall. I'm about this close to screaming.
3. Today sucked ass. I feel weird and "off", I'm half off of my rocker, pissed, and wanting to fly in a million directions. So with an ASS-TON of shit to do I sit here for the past two nights not doing anything fucking productive which only makes the shit I feel even worse and the stress level rise which makes everything a lot more stupid.
I have bipolar disorder which is a total blast. No, I do not write in this blog for pity or to wallow in my troubles. I blog for two reasons: 1.) It is incredibly therapeutic for me since I don't talk to anyone face to face about these things, and 2.) my words sometimes help others who are rocking out with similar issues. Which is rad. I'm all about some teamwork here.
I'm not out on a mission to offend your delicate sensibilities. So if you don't like something I write, I suggest you pull the panties out of your bum and exit the blog. Nasty comments aren't cool, and they make me cry.